Voyager (DVD) Collector's Edition

*** Highly Recommended ***

"Voyager" is the much-ballyhooed Catalina sextravaganza that was filmed on a gay cruise ship last year [ http://www.PillageandPlunder.org ]. Remember all that publicity? And wishing you'd booked a ticket?

Well, the result is out now, and they've wisely focused on the hunky blond Caesar. Ordinarily, we'd be skeptical of others who claimed an Emperor's title, but we'll make an exception here, since Caesar is the hunkiest blond stud since Rex Chandler. Even better, he's totally versatile! (Circle slash on straight trade!)

Our story opens with Caesar doing it with his blond boyfriend Erik Mann in Vermont on a bed in front of a fireplace. Convenient, eh? They blow each other, but the lure of Caesar's milky-white shaved muscle butt is too strong for Erik, who looks like a second-tier college jock, not straight out of the frat house like Caesar. Or should we say, straight out of the Marine Corps, since Caesar's USMC tattoo is plainly visible. After giving Caesar's butt a thorough reaming (and who could resist feasting on that ample ass?), he loosens him up with a dildo before fucking him.

After a frantic call from his agent, we discover stripper-guy Caesar is actually on his way to the big gay cruise, so he gets into his big SUV, turns on some raucous semi-metal rock, and lights up a cig-butt for some highly-mannered smoking. He looks JUST LIKE a mean-ass frat guy (from Texas, we would guess from the accent).

Evidently on another flight, the reliable Steve Rambo is discussing their cruise gig with muscle-bottom Mike Radcliffe. Don't fast forward -- this awkward conversation should send you into peals of laughter. They decide to rest up for the cock-fest to come, and Steve immediately dreams of a cock smorgasbord on the beach (the same beach set as we saw on "Echo Beach"). In turn he sucks off big-dicked Scott Lyons and Paul Wendt through the slats of a flimsy wooden fence. Wouldn't you hate to tell your boyfriend how you got all those splinters in your dick? Scott comes (and goes), then Paul comes, and -- nice guy that he is -- blows Steve, who collapses in a heap, until goofy-looking, skinny curly-top Jacob Ambers (where DO they get these names?) shows up asking for some head. Steve enthusiastically chows down on his ample dick. Mike then wakes up Steve from his reverie -- they've arrived! It would have been funny if Steve had had a big wet spot in his pants.

Meanwhile, back in Tampa -- the erstwhile port of departure -- swarthy Tuck Johnson surprises Rick Mathews slurping away on Pierce Vendetta's dick while on the roof of a big warehouse. Rick's not a twink anymore -- he's bigger and hairier and has a buzzcut. Tuck joins in with his super-thick dick. Tuck kisses, but is otherwise total trade as the other two suck and Pierce and Tuck fuck Ricks's ass. Tuck's load is miniscule, but his dick is nice and hard.

Rick and Pierce notice a boat in the harbor with a lot of guys climbing on. My, what good eyes they have! Pierce explains it's a gay cruise headed for Key West. "How do you know?" they ask. "Research!" he replies. He's made plans to stow away so that he can audition for the porno movie that's being made on board. Wait a minute -- this is NOT the place where we expected to see postmodern metacinema.

To let us know that we're transitioning to the cruise ship, we're treated to a montage of shots of happy guys at play on the aptly named Regal Empress, including a couple who show off their dicks. Mark Mason walks by -- why the hell isn't he in the video?

Next we're in on the deck of a guesthouse in Key West where muscular, hairy Jackson Reid defies his image as a macho man by using foofy spray-on suntan oil. Ray Harley arrives to find that the performance he's booked for is only with Jackson. Cocktail waitress Rolio Vizarro shows he really IS into cock-and-tail by joining in. He's a kind of mean-looking brunet with a mustache. He abruptly abandons the pair only to bump into muscle-stud Mike, whom he lures onto another deck where cockhungry Mike can start his own smorgasbord. Back upstairs, bald daddy Jackson pounds little Ray's ass. Back downstairs, Rolio comes, and we notice that Mike has a USMC tattoo on his arm, just like Caesar. We guess it's true about Marines all wanting to be fucked up the ass. Back upstairs, it's dark by the time Ray and Jackson finish fucking. (Whew! We're tired of running up and down those stairs.)

The next day giant-dicked cocktail waitress Anthony Cox is serving cutie-pie Quebecois Michel Mattel, who's more interested in Anthony's eight inches than he is in the drink. This is the most engaged we've ever seen Anthony, who keeps up a running monologue of sex talk. Of course, he's inspired by Michel's fantastic sucking. There's a nice shot of Michel as he slowly impales himself on Anthony's mammoth meat, and he rides Anthony cowboy before getting fucked in every imaginable position (and staying hard!) Many more good shots of Anthony's giant salami follow as it slides in and out of Michel's tight asshole. This is the best fuck sequence in the video. Michel comes while being pounded, followed by Anthony.

At this point the narrative (already pretty vague) completely breaks down and we have two or three sex scenes from on board the boat that are edited into each other. So let's organize them the cruiseline way, shall we? Outside on the Jubilee deck, we have Mike Radcliffe, Ray Harley and Enrico Vega, who are being observed from a safe distance by a group of paying guests. Downbelow in the Princess deck we have Caesar, Steve Rambo, and a huge-dicked young guy who isn't even included in the credits. The action is totally mixed up though, because suddenly people are switching decks and partners, and Steve Rambo ends up somewhere in the ship's hold getting fucked by Mr. Anonymous, who is in such ecstasy that looks like he's about to cry. Studmuffin Caesar is fucking Ray, and Enrico is fucking Mike back on the Jubilee deck. We have to say we're impressed with Caesar's topping abilities. Enrico shoots a spectacular load; Mike shoots a mini-load. By the time Mr. Anonymous shoots he is almost sobbing. Steve and Ray come, but there's no load from our new imperial concubine, Caesar.

Well, there you have it. It was not quite what we expected; we were sort of looking forward to more interaction with the passengers, maybe a little behind-the-scenes footage. We were also expecting more action on the boat, maybe even in a cabin. And there was no big group orgy like we've come to expect in these Catalina sextravganzas. The cast was mostly hot, though (even if the dialog was hysterically bad -- that's part of the fun of it) and the sheer volume of the sex was impressive. There was some good action, especially from Caesar and in the Anthony-Michel scene.

Caesar, come home to the imperial palace immediately!

A Video Review by The Porn Emperor [ ThePornEmperor@ManNet.com ]

*** Highly Recommended ***

Starring Caesar, Ray Harley, Steve Rambo, Mike Radcliffe, Tuck Johnson, Anthony Cox, Jackson Reid, Rick Mathews, Pierce Vendetta, Scott Lyons, Michel Mattel, Jacob Ambers, Erik Mann, Paul Wendt, Rolio Vizarro and Enrico Vega.

Directed by Josh Eliot.

DVD features include Caesar's Bonus Photo Gallery; Hardcore Photo Gallery; Dirk Van Damne Bonus Solo; Pre-Condom Bonus Scene; Hardcore Previews; Interactive Menus; Chapter Index; Jump to Your Favorite Scenes; DVD-ROM Compatible; No Regional Coding for World Wide Playback.

A Catalina DVD