Say Uncle (VHS)

Jocks Video Pac 110.

The meaning of the title, "Say Uncle," has nothing to do with various strangle or submission holds in wrestling. Rather, it's a subtle way of winking at the underlying premise of the entire fuck-fest, which director Chi Chi LaRue has sent as a spring bouquet. A post-twink from Iowa visiting his post-twink pal in San Francisco is determined to fuck his pal's hot uncle. The fact that we have to watch four other scenes to get to that happy occasion is one of the many blessings we reviewers get during our leisure time.

This is a simple deal. Guy from Iowa, Jacob Hall, shows up at the door of his boyfriend, former twink star Christian Taylor (now a perfect clone of porn star Casey Williams and the actor who plays Justin on Showtime's "Queer as Folk"). They kiss and immediately get started on a rousing sexual encounter. Jacob looks like a combination of David Schwimmer ("Friends"), and a younger Jason Biggs ("American Pie"), before he got all buffed up for Broadway, so these are complete opposites who just happen to fit perfectly (even their noses are complementary, Jacob's aquiline fits nicely into the curve of Taylor's pug when they nuzzle and kiss). There's a tremendous amount of foreplay in this scene -- and in each of the others -- which brings a potential good encounter to the level of sizzling. Taylor plays with Jacob's hard cock and sucks it through his jeans; Jacob rubs his hard, very impressive man-sized cock up against Taylor's beautiful brief-encased ass. The two give loving, sloppy, blowjobs to each other, then 69 in a spectacularly filmed segment in which the background music, techno water sounds over the actual moans, hums, slurps and kisses of the actors, heightens what is to follow. Jacob fits Christian with a condom and rolls on his side for a major scissor-fuck, legs akimbo as the blond pumps his butt and then raises him slightly into a half-sit, half-scissor fuck. Then Jacob turns the tables -- every scene is a flip-flop, by the way -- as Taylor slides down his pole in a face-to-face sit-fuck, which begins rhythmically and proceeds to Jacob going into a frenzy. He grabs Christian's thighs and in one clean, unedited thrust sends him over his side, onto his back, into a missionary-fuck. Few veteran porn actors are able to do that, but these guys are perfect and it leads to a spectacular cum-shot from Christian, followed by a nice dribble from his boyfriend. Kisses and hugs lead us to discover that Christian has to go to work, but his uncle, in whose house he lives, says that Jacob can have the run of the house.

That means that he gets to wander outside, and comes to a rest outside the bathroom window, where, lo and behold, Breck Stewart, the uncle, is taking a shower. Breck is one of those early-30s, sloe-eyed beauties with a neat, upturned cock, a nice shock of dark, thinning hair with funky sideburns, fuzz all over his hot, ripped body. This is one hot uncle, dudes, and he whacks off while Jacob whips his schlong out to join in a separate, voyeuristic solo. They cum without looking at each other or acknowledging that they have seen each other, but from the spill sent out from Jacob's ladder, one can imagine there's a serious attraction on the part of the younger man, and a plan to get the uncle in bed.

But first Jacob visits the mechanic's shop owned by Breck where he can pick up a truck to tool around the city. He gets there just in time to witness the two buffest guys in the flick -- the wonderfully exotic Rocky and the increasingly hunky blond god Seth Adkins -- start to get it on with an intensity that borders on mutual rape. One of the keys to this flick is that LaRue couples complete opposites in each scene, and they can't seem to get enough of each other, but they have to work up to it. Here Rocky orders Seth to eat his ass, which he does hungrily as Rocky props himself up against the wall; they reverse positions before Seth goes in for a chow down on Rocky's uncut honker, playing with the foreskin, licking in and out of it, taking it down to the pubes. Rocky then sits on Seth's face and grinds his beautiful hole into the blond hunk's jaw, just as our guy Jacob comes in. He does his little tsk-tsk, but promises not to squeal as he makes a beeline for Rocky's cock, immediately taking advantage of its foreskin, then grabbing Seth's tool and alternating back and forth. There's some docking between Jacob and Rocky, lots of kissing, and then Seth doggy-fucks Rocky who sucks Jacob, Rocky sucks Jacob as Rocky doggy-fucks Seth, Rocky fucks Jacob missionary and all three cum in spectacular leaps and bounds all over Jacob's chest.

As hot as the first two scenes are in their own way, LaRue sets us up for one of the best car mechanic seduction scenes ever -- and a prime candidate for sex scene of the year. Jacob moves to another part of the garage where the especially beautiful, baby-faced and nicely maturing Cameron Fox has spotted the athletically attractive, wispily goateed, tight-bodied Joe Foster, on his back, under the car's hatchback. Jacob closes his eyes and imagines what follows. We should all have such daydreams! Cameron moves over to stand over Joe, who slides out from under the hatch and reaches for his buddy's crotch. Feels, rubs and kisses, moans and cockplay follow, all punctuated with hot breath, kissing sounds, moans and zippers opening, with that funky techno music in the background heightening the mood. Cameron is the first to sample the wares and gives Joe a loving round of head through his jeans, revealing a hard, solid cock that despite its hefty size is amazingly dwarfed by the nine-incher that Joe begins to feast on when it's his turn. This loving reciprocal cock-eating is followed by a truly slurpy rimjob of Joe's white-hot hole by Cameron's drooling mouth. Cameron then tease-fucks Joe's hole doggy-style with his extraordinary bazooka. However, there's a real series of close-ups here, followed by Cameron pulling out, Joe turning around and going down on that cock again. Joe keeps sucking and then he takes Cameron for a missionary butt-fuck in the hatchback with his own sizable tool. This is a strong, slow, purposeful -- and very loud -- fuck in which Cameron shouts his way through the pain and the ecstasy like a whimpering virgin. It's exceptionally hot, especially when counter-pointed with Cameron's fucking of Joe. Joe is a pro, but even he has a limit, and that's Cameron's howitzer. It's a silent, loving, in-and-out, ass-dripping fuck, punctuated by simultaneous climaxes and a sweet smooch at the end. Makes you wonder if they're really actors after all. Jacob wakes from his daydream to find Breck, the titular uncle, standing beside him, and one word leads to another which leads to the uncle going down on his nephew's buddy in the tool shop. This is a scene which could have really been fucked up, but it's handled, and played, beautifully by LaRue and his actors. The mutual cocksucking is worshipful, and the fucking -- Breck takes Jacob missionary after stooping him over a table to fuck him doggy-style -- is vigorous, full of discovery, and perfectly believable given the attempt at portraying an age, and generational, difference. It's a sweet way to end this wall-to-wall pure-sex movie, which opened sweetly and is filled with carnal plundering by a cast that is perfect, perfectly in-tune with each other, and perfectly directed by LaRue.

A Video Review by Bo Champion [ http://www.ManNet.com ]

*** Highly, Highly Recommended ***

Starring Jacob Hall, Cameron Fox, Joe Foster, Christian Taylor, Seth Adkins, Rocky and Breck Stewart.

Directed by Chi Chi LaRue.

A Falcon/Jocks VHS Tape.