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Porne Ultimatum, The (DVD)


Car chases, shoot outs and hunky guys. This isn't The Bourne Ultimatum, but The Porne Ultimatum, a crafty satire which not only features lots of hot sex, but also the welcome return of treasured porn star Brent Corrigan to the movie screen.

Corrigan's fans will not be disappointed at seeing their star child back in action, after his long sabbatical since Falcon's The Velvet Mafia in 2006. Furthermore, we are happy to report that director Mike Donner films Corrigan in some of his hottest moments yet. Especially if you were one who was disappointed with Corrigan in his Falcon venture, Dirty Bird seems to have a far greater grasp of talent.

Another good word should go out to the star of the movie, Kaden Saylor. He adequately sports Matt Damon's beauticious looks, delivers his lines, um, fairly, well, and he's a hot top.

The Porne Ultimatum starts with Sayler getting raped, followed by taking two bullets in his body, felling him on the Pacific beach. Left for dead by the bad guys, Corrigan discovers him and nurses him back to health at his seaside home. That's right, folks. In this film, Brent Corrigan is Doogie Howser. Not only is he a skilled neurosurgeon, but he's a smooth operator, who easily turns Saylor's gratitude into sexual currency.

Two months pass, as Kayden recuperates, working out and jogging around Coronado Island. Before leaving the safe house of Corrigan, they enjoy fantastic one-on-one on the couch. After tender kissing, Sayler pulls down Corrigan's Calvin Klein underwear to give him a lengthy blowjob.

Upon seeing Saylor naked, we find that his cock is not as long a Corrigan's but instead thicker and more "party sized". They sixty-nine which leads to the good doctor's sweet hole. Saylor pounds Corrigan from behind with thrusts that shake the bottom's bubble buns. After a lengthy session of watching Corrigan's star tattoo bounce and shake, he flips over on his back where Kayden drills him until he cums.

Both of their loads end up covering Corrigan's tanned torso.

Out on his own, Kayden quickly finds himself chased by mysterious assassins. Fortunately, he gets help from Mason Wyler, who enjoys his days lounging alone and naked by the pool. They trace the goons back to a house guarded by the suited Barrett Long (The Bachelor). Wyler creates a sex diversion in order for Kayden to slip inside the house.

In the garage, Wyler gets his hands on Long's huge weapon between his legs. Wyler impressively goes all out working over Long's cudgel with his mouth. Long face fucks him slowly to the rhythm of his swinging, pendulous balls.

Long's performance is another one of The Porne Ultimatum's fun surprises. His total trade top behavior combined with a low voiced mumble of trash talk earns Long the coveted Jeff Styker Impersonation Award for 2008.

Long slaps Wyler's butt as he fucks him, stretching the blond to the absolute max. Wyler always plays a very expressive bottom, this time his face turns beat red as he gasps and moans loudly to Long's hammering.

Long's cock engorges fully as he shoots an impressive cum load all over Wyler. "Yeah, that was alright," quips Long as he reaches for his clothes. Wyler responds to the rough treatment from the goon by braining him suddenly with a baseball bat, clearing his way for escape.

Inside the house, Kayden quietly sneaks around and realizes some things. He first spies the three goons who have been chasing him. All three are husky, tattooed en-Marine types who lurk on Dink Flamingo's Active Duty website.

Levi, apparently the head of the group, sits in a chair masturbating ordering Colin and Kasey through combinations of dick sucking and ass eating. Colin is a super hot tattooed bottom who has no problem following any orders. And he loves not only sucking Levi's cock, but taking it up his ass.

Fans of marines know that Dink Flamingo, The Porne Ultimatum's executive producer, finds the best military guys and coaxes out the hottest sex. This scene is no exception. They pound Colin until they squirt their loads.

Saylor surreptitiously steals their sidearms and makes his way downstairs, where he finds Brant Moore entwined naked with the mononamed Seth, a lanky bottom with hairy legs. Moore mistakenly thinks Saylor was sent down to be the new "bitch", so they engage in a rollicking three way.

Moore and Seth spend ample time worshipping Saylor's body, sharing his cock, sucking his balls. In a hot visual, Moore screws Seth doggie style while sucking Saylor, who stands up on the bed balancing himself with his hands on the ceiling.

This culminates in an even hotter sequence where Saylor tops Moore, who is topping Seth. Moore, who began his as mostly a top (Betwinked), looks get as the pivoting fulcrum of the conjoined three. All three guys finish with nice money shots.

Saylor escapes the house, followed by a car chase. Fortunately Mason Wyler's pizza delivery boy knowledge of the neighborhood roads allows them to leave the bad guys lost in a maze of cul de sacs. Back safely at Wyler's home, the dirty blonds declare their mutual attraction for each other in the form of a romantic sexual encounter. This shows Wyler bottoming under far nicer circumstances, Saylor plows him in several hot positions.

Saylor finishes by dropping an impressive load of hot cum on Wyler's superb ass.

Don't look to The Porne Ultimatum for impressive acting. The models all run through a lot of dialogue that sounds pretty corny. Just remember that it is just porn, and all done in fun. Technically the film looks pretty good, and the incidental music fits well too ranging between the movie's sex episodes to the non explicit story sequences.

The movie stands out for the welcome return of Brent Corrigan, the continuing steamy work of Mason Wyler and impressive debut of Kaden Saylor. All three could form a sweet trinity in the sequel.

-FriskyBoy, FriskyFans.org.

Starring Brent Corrigan, Mason Wyler, Barrett Long, Brant Moore, Kaden Saylor, Seth, Levi, Kasey and Colin.

Directed by Mike Donner.

A Dirty Bird Pictures DVD.

DVD features include Interactive Menus; Chapter Index; Jump to Your Favorite Scenes; DVD-ROM Compatible; No Regional Coding for World Wide Playback.

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