Old Reliable 43: Five Days with Phil (DVD)

Old Reliable Number 43.

Imagine watching one person masturbate, pose and flex, and reveal his inner life over a period of five days.Condense that into ninety-minutes so all the boring stuff, like sleeping and eating, are gone. Now imagine he has a thin, almost tiny frame, huge exuberant eyes, and a ten-inch cock.

This would be Phil, a popular performer in the Old Reliable series who returns for a special Phil-only edition. Some folks might find this terribly boring; it is anything but. Twenty-two year-old Phil is such a mysterious, sad, and lovely figure that he manages to enrapture without ever being anything close to dynamic. And then there's that cock. . .

We meet Phil as he stands in the Old Reliable director's living room. He's scrawny, his teeth are yellow, he's got a scar on his nose, a mustache, and his long bangs obscure his gorgeous eyes. He strips down and plops onto the couch. He jacks his enormous cock in silence, inadvertently allowing the overwhelming reality of his endowment take center stage. He's massive, to put it simply. He comes rather quickly. While basking in the afterglow he talks of fucking girls, one of his favorite past-times. He remarks that just last night he fucked a girl for three and half hours. The director comments that his lady must've gotten pretty loose and accommodating. Phil agrees with a bit of hesitation. Phil doesn't like a loose pussy. Even though vaginas are capable of stretching to pass a baby, no normal woman could take him inside without some discomfort. Phil's dick is so large one has to wonder if he gets wet whenever he sits on the toilet.

Day two begins with a sun-drenched wake-up call for Phil. Phil yawns and stretches as the camera moves along his naked body, revealing not only teeny nipples that look like pencil erasers but also more pubic hair than was seen in the last segment. Phil showers and then masturbates to a porno mag. When he finishes he washes his wiener in the bathroom sink, laughing the entire time.

Day three brings more of the same; Phil masturbates and poses a little. Except today we get to watch Phil measure his cock as he jacks off. The final verdict is ten inches. This seems almost unbelievable, though; Phil is so big that even that large a number seems small. Either that or all of those porn stars have been lying all these years. Phil also puts a can of Budweiser up to his dick so that we can see that it's "taller than the can and half as thick", as the cameraman comments. The banter between Phil and the cameraman reveals a bit of interesting information; Phil wears a size seven-and-a-half shoe, a fact that pretty much debunks the big feet=big cock rumor.

Phil shaves off his mustache for day four. He works his meat on the porch and somehow becomes absolutely radiant. Perhaps it's his clean-shaven face, or maybe the sunlight--Phil is a stunner.

Day five is horribly long, too much posing, flexing, and general jibber-jabber. Phil even tells a story about "kicking a nigger" more than twice which is, if you want to know how I feel, two times too many. Nevertheless, one can't fault Phil for being a redneck, after all that's half of why we want to watch him fuck himself on tape in the first place. And believe me, you will want to watch it. . .

Starring Phil.

Directed by David Hurles.

DVD features include Jump to Your Favorite Scenes; DVD-ROM Compatible; No Regional Coding for World Wide Playback.

An Old Reliable/Bijou Classic on DVD.