Assault/Five Hard Pieces (DVD)

Back in the days when men still had chest hair and didn?t shave their balls, maverick gay pornomaker ARCH BROWN concocted this classic five-part erotic anthology. From laboriously elaborate seduction fantasies to no-holds-barred hardcore, Five Hard Pieces serves up a smorgasbord of foot-longs, rump roasts, and extra heavy cream.

Our first course involves a bearded photographer who brings home a delicious tourist who disrobes to reveal a stunning boner-erecting physique. During a tense photo session, the photographer slips on pretty much nothing and hurts his back. Somehow, the only sufficient remedy for this seems to be repeated direct anal pressure from a tubular flesh-covered object. It isn?t long before our tasty tourist is donating his own nether regions in the name of art

Then there?s the able-bodied young tenant who awakens to a broken radiator in a freezing apartment. He summons his sexy super who makes an adjustment. Now it?s too hot! Forced to resummon the super and partially disrobe, the two men recline on the couch where the tenant?s wandering hand finds its way into the super?s generously unzipped jumpsuit...

Short films such as these leave most of the closeup penetration shots to the imagination. However, this slow, careful buildup to that first flash of phallus is often more rewarding than today?s graphic porn videos where foreplay is nonexistent and anal sex looks like prostrate surgery.

But, for the drooling and impatient hardcore hounds amongst us, things do get a bit more explicit: one darling stud-muffin is having so much fun with his wiley willie that he lets his savvy short-haired friend join the party. There?s also a pair of fags who put their faggy coffee and faggy paper aside for a fabulously faggy feast and I?m not talking eggs and bacon.

Finally, we visit with two genuine beauties who take a break from car repair to skinny-dip in a nearby stream. Still naked, they break into an unoccupied house and wax poetic all over the furniture. Again, their romp is more voyeuristic than pornographic but Mr. Brown is so enamored of his handsome subjects that he makes slow-motion mouth-to-mouth grape-passing as titillating as a slurpy wet blowjob.

If style and substance is what your porno is missing, Five Hard Pieces is sure to give your jaded imagination that jolt of teasing testosterone it sorely lacks.

Directed By Arch Brown